Sunday, October 28, 2012

A little better : @Aspienaut : WIRED differently || AutismAid

A little better : Aspienaut : WIRED differently | Nov 30th -0001

I have been doing lots of writing this week in my journal.  It is not, by any means, for public consumption but eventually the thoughts there may coalesce into future blog posts.  I have been thinking a lot this week about creativity and the, ‘Differently Wired’ brain.  I feel that my being on the spectrum gives me a cognitive position that, in part supports my own creativity.  This position has both positives and negatives.  Many of the negatives have already been discussed within my blog, so I would like to write briefly about the positives.

We understand the world through our senses.  This is an obvious thing to say but important for those of us on the spectrum.  Not only are our senses how we experience life , they also serve the important protective purpose of sensory filtering.  This aspect isn’t something that many NT people are conscious of, but for those on the spectrum it is clear.  We tend to receive much more information on all sensory channels.  We just have too much other stuff going on to be able to do it all.  Because there is this hyper-sensitivity to stimulus and a difficulty with the wiring around the empathy those of us on the spectrum develop into people who have a certain view of the world and a certain position in society, namely, on the outside.

This position can be quite a difficult one, but for myself I can say it has begun to feel like an advantage.  Yes, I often feel at odds with much of what I see going on in social settings and I feel there are aspects of NT life that I am not really part of.  For many these aspects are important and to some essential, I even thought so for a while, but now I disagree.  It just is, what it is.

So I move through the world, with this head on these shoulders, experiencing and processing the world as I do and you are there, doing the same, your head, on your shoulders.  For me, creativity is about sharing with others what it is like to have this head, on these shoulders and in being who you truly are and then sharing that with others, is the creative process.  So I sit here slightly on the edge of things, experiencing the world as I do but I still want to reach out, needing to reach out, needing to show you what I see.  This is the innate human drive for connection and understanding.  By telling you, I am as much as anything, telling myself, I’m here!  

When we engage fully in the creative process we share a part of ourselves that is our true self and it is in the process that we really meet each other.  It is one of the only ways we can communicate what it really means to be us.  Yesterday, someone very dear to me shared a piece of writing that in part inspired this piece.  By putting pen to paper and telling their truth I could see them even more clearly.  They let me in and I felt I understood and cared for them even more deeply for seeing who they are even more clearly.

As a person on the spectrum I have been given the tools to experience the world with heightened senses and a degree of focus and intellect that allows me to explain what I see.  I have been given the tools to be perfectly who I am.  You have been given the tools to be perfectly who you are too.  How could it be any other way.  This fact doesn’t mean its easy being us.  Creativity is often about expressing hardship because its about sharing being alive.  However, by giving ourselves and others the space and support to be creative we can understand ourselves and each other, a little better.

© Paul C Siebenthal March 2012

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